“We have some 8 more years to mend things”, said my bro gravely as I switched on the air conditioner the other day. I patted him reassuringly aiming an earnest smile, increased the volume of the music player, closed my eyes and drifted in my own thoughts.

“It wouldn’t be long before the humankind wipes out. A befitting end to the ceaseless crimes committed in the pursuit of a better life… Oh the irony! “, said the reporter on a news channel, with a sincerity that made me wonder if she had burst into tears right after the shoot.

“Global Warming-The end of the world?”, shrieked the front page of a weekly magazine I read almost regularly.

Ohkk…! So all this is indeed happening…

I’ve been hearing about global warming since I started hearing about latitudes, longitudes, tectonic plates etc. Maybe a little before. But the point is that, like the rest, I learnt the definition, causes, effects and related blahs about this one too by rote, least interested in the minutiae (I was never a great student to be honest, and geography and related stuff don’t really deserve a special mention in my, as it is, not-so-boastful academic track)

Finally the poor thing has taken centre stage. The neglected “Global Warming” issue I mean. So what are we doing about it? Naah, nothing much, just some talks here or there, few raised voices, few concerned whispers, and of course, lotsa heated arguments, about what/who is causing all the heat.

A survey said that the Indian and Chinese populace is the most concerned in the world on the issue, leaving behind its Ooh-So-Haute counterparts in Europe and The States. And why wouldn’t they be? They had only just begun getting haute after all… I mean, let’s face it; Indians haven’t had enough of the chic Metro Rails coming up in all those metropolitans (It’s only in Delhi that they are partly functional as of now, with things mostly under planning or design phase elsewhere)…Or the glamorous malls for that matter… or the 24 hour power supplies (thanks to those DG back ups and inverters). And China… it’s only recently, that the world has started feeling uneasy about those quiet, meticulous men that comprise the Republic. The world can’t end so soon! I mean, these two aren’t yet ready to…well…get their acts together…!

But, as they say, bad things happen more often than what those probability figures claim…So a melt down is inevitable. What then? Lotsa water and too little land. And too many people of course (Indians and Chinese rock the charts there too!). Some affluent ones making it to land… as for the rest of us, we could do with a remix of the old song “Aajkal paav zameen par nahi padte mere” … There could be gill implants if science develops itself to that extent. Some of those who don’t get property might go for the implants. But even after that, a major chunk would be left with nowhere to plant their feet.

Like it’s always with life, it will be a classic case of comedy in tragedy. All this warming business can be compared with those cartoon storylines, where a big, sturdy woman falls in love with a weak frail-hearted male, and smothers him with her looove, while he gasps for life in between all the running, escaping, and of course, smothering. The earth seems to have developed some real warm and cosy feelings for us humans, and it wouldn’t be long before all the smothering becomes too hot to handle.

In a different time and age, someone had said , “Love hurts”… But no point saying that now…In any case, humans are inherently averse to caveats…!

Rock on guys…till the party lasts…!