‘Err..well..you know what I mean, right?’ she said to the VIP visitor she had talked to a couple of times on phone before now, with a wink and a nudge on the shoulder. From how I saw it, she was just short of hugging the conspicuously conceited bastard with her oft practiced and highly effective smothering attitude. I too had been a victim of her charm once. I had been so totally swept by its seeming exclusiveness that I failed to see its pervasiveness throughout the office. But as it generally happens with such misconceptions, mine too was broken with the rude shock of finding she had been secretly dating a much better positioned ape of a guy in our team. At first I was heartbroken. Then I went through the natural process despising and self righteous ranting and finally settled with a sullen surrender to my fate.
Now, watching her almost seducing this giant of a man, unaware of her vile motives, basking in her attention, I felt liberated. More so because of the role her secret lover was playing in the act. But of course, it always had to be so. He too had followed the same perverse path to success. She was only making it smoother for him. He had always been a super achiever. And ever since she had joined him, she too had become one. With such aspirations, I was better off not having her.
I still remember how it was initially. We had joined at the same level and she had seemed a very decent, intelligent girl. Vivacious yet dignified, funny yet sophisticated. I had fallen for her almost instantly. Hard as I try, I don’t remember trying to impress her. I have always believed such things should come naturally. But the fact that she gave me subtle hints here and there is indicative that she got to know somehow.
It’s frightening… There’s no ‘lowest’ known to a human that it can’t touch… All one needs is a shred of a reason and the rest can be left on one’s readiness or adamancy to touch that low. We keep falling with every passing moment. What people call the process of maturing is actually a gradual but incremental process of self contamination.
‘Do you really believe in this trash you so willingly dole out?’ She had asked me once in her honey dipped voice, a brow raised in mockery, when I had gotten into a similar discussion with her long time back. I was disappointed by the question then, but with the benefit of hindsight, I thank her for asking it. Her spell on me had broken right then (though I realized it much later),when I looked straight into her beautiful eyes and said ‘yes’.
NB: Wrote this on April 22nd, 2009 (Wednesday) at 6:11 pm in my cell phone notes on my way back from office. And it is a work of fiction(mostly) 😉