[Part 1 of 2] Feels like the end…

“Never say never Bum!”

I woke up with a start, breathless and sweating. She was playing with my head again.

“God! If only I could LIVE one day of the so many littered around me!”

Something pressed my heart as I remembered the conversation.

“What would you do that day?” I had asked.

“I would disappear with you, and never come back!” she had replied matter-of-factly.

The conversation had continued as she conceptualized an elaborate plan of our adventurous escape and explained cleverly how no one would even realize for months.

And just like that, she was gone. She disappeared, without me, to never come back.

I made her go, yes I did. I planned her safe exit from my sordid life, for every assassin, however good, is one day assassinated. And my days were numbered too.

Talking her into it or into anything was impossible. No matter what she was to the world – compelling or complying and no matter what I was to the world – declaiming or declined, she always had her way with me, and I never heeded to any sense she would try to put in me. Hence I was still the cold assassin she had met once years and years ago and she was still the unassuming naïve girl who fell for me as many years back.

But I had to let her go, for her own good. She had to go to never come back – Once and for all.

I made coffee for us that day. And I heard her talk about her day endlessly. She was a lost child always looking for an embrace to hide herself from the world she failed to understand. She slept soundlessly as I lifted her up and put her in the car and drove all the way to the safe house.

I left her in good care. I don’t know where she is now. I don’t even know what she thinks of me. But I live in the hope that one should never say never.

However, I must confess, as I see death lurking by the corner, that perhaps my next time will be another life, if that comes by.







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