Sabrina’s Background Check

She was walking sedately inspecting every corner of the house.

Wardrobe big enough for my clothes and shoes – check

Vanity room with a full size mirror – check

Bathroom with Jacuzzi – check

Wooden tiles, no sound of movement – check

Fire Place, good size for aunts Hilda and Zelda – check

Old fashioned chimney opening to the roof – check

Kitchen with hardly anything to eat! Definitely a bachelor – check

The main door clicks.

Oops, what do I do now!

“I smell Sabrina’s perfume. God I miss her!”

He walks in the kitchen.

“Good Lord! Out you go! Wild, scary looking Kitty!”

…………………………………

100 words for Friday Fictioneers this week.

I tried something different this time. But I don’t want to explain it. Want to see if I made any sense.

Friday Fictioneers is an excellent forum for people looking to have fun as they learn the nuances of writing. Every Friday a bunch of us write 100 words (no hard rules there) for prompts posted by Rochelle who runs the show.

Click here to get to the main post to catch up on the rules and also entries of very able writers!

This week’s photo comes from Scott Vannatter 

copyright-scott-l-vannatter

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36 thoughts on “Sabrina’s Background Check

    1. I don’t blame you.
      I was trying to do a little situational self-explanatory writing.
      It perhaps could be done better, I am still thinking about it… Might edit when I find out what can be done to make it better.
      I tried to write about Sabrina, the teenage witch. And she is checking out a guy’s apartment in his absence. She is checking the fire place and the chimney for her aunts Hilda and Zelda to use for coming to the house, also checking if they can do magic without making much noise (wooden tiles).. the guy, whom she is checking out and who happens to be a human unaware of her powers returns to his apartment while she is still there, so she turns into cat.
      I should have done a better job at it. |
      As for commenting on your blog, the pleasure is mine!
      Powerful entry from you this week (like always!)

  1. It didn’t quite work for me, but I’m not familiar with the character. I liked the style though. Full marks for trying something different – and happy Christmas.

    1. Thanks Sandra.
      Sabrina, the teenage witch was a TV show, she had a comic series of her own and used to also feature as one of the characters in the Archie’s comic series. She was one of my favorite characters as a kid.
      Merry Christmas !

  2. Lovely style and well done for doing a bit of experimenting – I remember Sabrina. My only issue would be the tenses – you start in the past and end in the present. But really nice, though!

    1. I always mess up the tenses.
      I did notice the change of tense in this one. But I thought I could either change at the start to present sense but that didn’t seem right, or I could change to past tense where the door clicked but that didn’t seem fitting too.
      Tenses are a big pain point in my writing. I need to work on it. Thanks for pointing it out. 🙂

    1. ahh ok… yeah… walking sedately part could have hinted a cat.
      My Bad..
      Thanks for the visit…
      Cats remind me of voodoo, black magic and all sorts of scary things… I am not a big fan.

  3. I thought she was looking to rent a house, till she came to the fireplace… Then I knew something was up. I saw her changing into a cat. Interesting to read your explanation. I liked your checklist style, P.

    1. Thanks ted. Glad you noticed her changing to a cat.
      I hope there are more who see it next time.

      I am beginning to appreciate the power of checklist of late – thanks to my ever increasing work load and bird-sized forgetful brain.
      In Fact, a friend told me about this book recently:
      http://www.amazon.com/Checklist-Manifesto-How-Things-Right/dp/0312430000
      Though I am not sure if the intention behind this was the same as Sabrina’s. 😉

      Merry Christmas!

  4. Dear Parul,

    I love you girl’s excursion through the house. Too bad he doesn’t like cats. She should have changed in to a dog. Sooner or later he’ll figure it out. Nice experiment. Keep doing things like that. You cast a spell on me.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  5. i get the idea that she is in sort of a spirit form and is following him wherever he goes, even when moving to a new house. perhaps she “was” his wife? interesting story.

  6. I got the witch part early on, but thought maybe she was checking out a place to rent or buy. When he says “I smell Sabrina’s perfume” would have been a good time to identify the man. Kudos for jumping out and trying something new. Ten extra bonus points!

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