Simple Things

Story 1 of 2(100 Words)

I wanted simple things – Scarlett, a farm and a house… mostly Scarlett.

Everything was great till Rhett came in our lives – The big city man of Cigars and Pinstripe Suits.

She left with him to New York City.

Ashley told me Scarlett’s in trouble.

Some said Scarlett deserved it. But that couldn’t deter me from leaving my town and coming to this filthy city of New York looking for her.

Now NYPD is hunting me and there are dead claiming I killed ’em.

Worst part…  Fulton Street or Times Square – coffee is always bad.

Oh Scarlett, what’ve you done!

……………………….

Story 2 of 2(100 Words)

Simple things… why can’t we do simple things together?

I remember the scene like yesterday. She was standing near the fire place, the movie tickets turning to ash in the fire where she had thrown them.

Honey, bear with me this once. It’s complicated at work.

She shook her head and with tears trickling down her cheeks, stormed out of the house

I have been looking for her since.

Her phone’s been off. Her friends wouldn’t talk to me.

708 Fulton Street – this was where we met.

I come here every day now. Maybe one day she too will.

……………………

I was musing over 2012 when Rochelle posted the Friday prompt for this week.

The one word playing in my head over and over again ever since I starting mulling over 2012 was “simple”, as the year was anything but that for me, in every aspect of my personal and professional existence.

Like a single torture was not enough, I took the liberty of writing two stories this week with the word as a common theme. Apart from that, these are works of fiction and have no resemblance with anyone – living or dead, connected with me.

Do let me know what you think of them, which one worked better, if any. Also constructive feedback on my writing is welcome. I would be very happy to learn something new.

Friday Fictioneers is an excellent forum for people looking to have fun as they learn the nuances of writing. Every Friday a bunch of us write 100 words (no hard rules there) for prompts posted by Rochelle who runs the show.

Click here to get to the main post to catch up on the rules and also entries of very able writers!

This week’s photo prompt comes from Jean L. Hays.

Copyright Jean L. Hays


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70 thoughts on “Simple Things

  1. I liked both stories, but the second a little better, probably because I can relate to the desire to keep things simple when Life keeps happening. I hope she makes it back to the coffee shop so they can find simple peace in the chaos of Life, and I hope YOU find the same! I feel like I’m in a constant battle to simplify, simplify, simplify!

  2. Well Parul, you had me Scarlett. 😀

    I came across your comment on Bottleworder’s blog post on reading not-so-well-known blogs and I’m glad I clicked on your blog.

    That first story combines two of my favourite things: My all time favourite love story and coffee.

    Looking forward to reading more from you.

    1. Happy to see you noticed! 😉 😉
      It’s my all time favorite too.
      Those were not the names of the characters initially.
      But, these are better than Sarah, Jake and Billy eh? 🙂

      I have double the reason to thank Bottleworder. You discovered me, and I am going through your blog as we speak. I am still not through your wishlist of presents. Loving it! lol

      1. Awww thank you for reading, I’m honored.

        And good choice going with Rhett & Scarlett 😉

        Light & Love to you for 2013. I expect great things for the both of us.

      2. Ahem! I have had two stories with Jake… 🙂
        Incidentally, after I read this post and before reading the comments, I thought I should get more creative with names

    1. Thanks.
      I was just trying to get to your post. Something doesn’t seem to be right with the link. I am not able to get there.
      Could you check once please?

    1. Thanks Maria.
      I will read the first one again to see what I can do.
      I do sense it’s a bit sputtered in its narration.
      I guess the twist is too abrupt. Putting my thinking cap on. Hmm…
      Hope you had a great Christmas with your loved ones! 🙂

      1. Done.
        Also changed the last line from
        “Oh Scarlett, you stupid girl!”
        to
        “Oh Scarlett, what’ve you done!”

        Might have to tweak it a bit more.
        Will keep at it.
        Thanks for the inputs!

  3. Dear Parul,
    As much as I loved GWTW (read the book and saw the movie several times) I have to say I preferred the second over the first. I liked the pathos in the second. The idea of the MC going to the same place every day in hopes of finding his lost love touched me.
    Nice job on both,
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

    1. I agree. Though not quite catcher in the rye.
      More like FightClub movie(am I kidding myself?)… Or one of those silly action movies that have loose links to emotions. Thanks for noticing the change of voice in the two. The second is the regular kinds. I enjoyed writing the first one more.

  4. I read these a couple of times and I have to say I enjoyed the second more..Perhaps it was because in the first one you called New York filthy….It’s not like the 80’s anymore where the streets of NYC made their own gravy when it rained…

    Tom

    1. For a country side boy, I guess NYC would seem dirty.
      Maybe he came from the west coast.
      I found NYC pretty dirty after California. But I had not seen it in the 80’s, so I can’t compare.

  5. Enjoyed both of these Parul, probably the second a little more. Well done. I became distracted though at the line, “Honey, bear with…” for obvious reasons. 🙂 Reminded me of a favourite christmas present I received as a little girl. 🙂

  6. The first one is so clever – such good fun, and maybe a whole story, long can come from it.
    the second is so poignant and beautiful, very touching.

  7. The first story was jarring only because of the use of names and that it is placed in the present day. But it does work. The second I preferred. Simple and touching. I met my wife at a coffee shop. And she doesn’t drink coffee. Go figure! I look forward to reading more of your work.

    1. Yeah I agree on that. Those were not the original names. I just had Rhett there, then I got carried away.
      A non coffee drinker finding her partner in a coffee shop. Destiny? 🙂

  8. I enjoyed story #1, combining new with old… and then on to #2 with a similar thread. But Story #2 says so much and is very powerful. Well written piece, P… the last 2 lines are sad but hopeful.

  9. Parul,

    Story No. 2 is excellent. It has depth, feeling, and an affecting ending. It works well and I liked it very much.

    But story No. 1 reads kind of like an intended parody/update of GWTW and works less well. So go with No. 2.

    That’s in my view. Great job on 2!

    1. Thanks Perry.
      The second one has definitely won here.
      No. 1 wasn’t an intended parody, but now that you mention it, it could be interpreted as that. Not that I was giving a tribute either. I just got a little playful with my characters’ names I guess.

      Glad you liked the second one so much.

    1. Thank you!
      I think you are the only one so far who prefers the first one over second one!
      Oh yeah, this guy is going through a lot more than an angry spouse! 🙂

  10. Dear Parul,

    The second story gets my vote. Sadder and full of pathos and easier to sort out than the first. They were both good, though, which is why I always will click on your blog and comment. Happy New Year.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  11. I loved the first story more maybe because of Rhett and Scarlett. Aah! You reminded me of my two most loved characters.. 🙂
    And plus I liked the drama behind the first story. Happy 2013!

  12. I like both stories. I don’t know which I like more. Probably the first coz of dead people and cops.

    This line needs some editing: Now NYPD is hunting me and there are dead claiming I killed ‘em.

    “they” are dead perhaps?

    Also, “She shook her head as tears trickled down her cheeks and stormed out of the house.” sounds as if the tears are storming out of the house 🙂
    Maybe “She shook her head and with tears trickling down her cheeks, she stormed out of the house.”

    1. I tried to twist my sentence a bit… for fun..
      so when I said “there are dead claiming I killed ‘em.”, I meant that there’s evidence on the dead people like finger prints etc that points fingers at the protagonist, and hence the cops are after him. Does it make sense? Isnnit cool(ish) way of saying it? hehe

      The second one… LOL! yeah, I agree… lol!
      Man, if that happened, that’d be awesome… But I will let gravity take its course and change it rightaway… Good imagination though!

Would love to hear what you have to say about this! :)

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