Peace at Last

The edge, the brink, the threshold is where she stopped herself, only to look back one last time, for the sake of those she was leaving behind. A wave of a hand, a tear in an eye, a giddy smile on the lips, she wished them well and onward she went out of their realm. If her feet faltered for what she left behind, her heart hurried to what waited ahead. She stepped in the enlightened foyer – furtive yet fervent, weeping with joy, embraced by the warmth of the glowing light that shined ahead… Peace at last.

days give in to nights

chasing the frailties of life

such a waste of time

………………………

This is an entry for the Ligo Haibun Challenge.

The prompt this week is – Peace.

Besides being my first entry for the challenge, this also happens to be my first ever Haiku! I would love to hear from anyone who chances upon this piece as to what they think of my attempt. I look forward to constructive feedback, so please feel free to provide your 2 cents! 🙂

Thanks a lot Ye Pirate for educating me about this challenge! I enjoyed participating in it… attempted something new too — Haiku!! All thanks to you! 🙂

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24 thoughts on “Peace at Last

  1. That is intriguing, very, and pulls me – the reader in, because of that, but it is also your way with words again that stuns – reading your pieces is like having a nice cup of tea, or very good coffee, that same effect. I se you used the 5-7-5 formula for haiku – clever! Not a real rule but very well done. Again, a mysterious, intriguing haiku. I would put ‘gave’ into present tense of ‘give’ for no reason other than haiku in present tense is often the norm – doesn’t change meaning of it happening.
    Your haibun is so rich it is one that would be great to discuss in a group. Thanks.

    1. You are very very kind.
      Read your comment over and over again – gladdened my heart.
      Thanks so much for the encouragement.
      I had present tense in the haiku initially… does it read better?
      I will change it.
      I used the 5-7-5 formula – that’s what wikipedia told me haiku was… I didn’t know any better 🙂
      Thanks again and again and again! 🙂

  2. Well done. Rich flowing words. The haiku evokes the feeling and sums up the story without being too explicit.

  3. your haiku is so rich with wisdom. a really great haibun that makes the reader think of death as something one mustn’t fear but instead something to look forward to. well done

  4. I’m not that familiar with haiku (Jan Morrill is very knowledgeable), but I enjoyed it and loved the short story. Nice tale of passing from this life to the next.

  5. Nicely written found it gripping and sad.
    Here’s what Thich Nhat Hanh says ~“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”

    Regards!

  6. This is a fine first Haiku, Parul… your story, poetic as well. her heart hurried to what waited ahead… I just love this line.

    Nice first Ligo Haibun, I’ve yet to try one.

Would love to hear what you have to say about this! :)

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