The Derailed Dreamer (Voice 1 of 5)

Crumpled paper littered the floor; she decided it was time for an intervention.

“Anita! Come to your room immediately!”

“Can it wait? I’m heading out to take some pictures. The light is just right.”

“Alright, go on. But clean up this mess in your room once you get back!”

She sighed. Was it her fault? All the books she fed her as a child, and all the “of course darling” to her “Mom, will I also write such stories?”

There was a problem with dreams; they died, leaving emptiness behind. Who knew it better than her?

……………………………………

96 words

This is my first entry for Voice Week 2014.

Voice week is a writing challenge hosted by Stephanie of Bekindrewrite to experiment with different voices.

I’m not sure if I understand voices, I will try to write five different perspectives. There will be 5 installments coming, one each day, from Sep 22nd to Sep 27th.

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30 thoughts on “The Derailed Dreamer (Voice 1 of 5)

  1. The dream she engendered in her daughter has become all-consuming, and the only result seems to be a messy room. She is right not to be too upset, and to give her daughter some slack. Good start to the week.

  2. NOM NOM NOM HYPOCRISY

    That aside, very nice. You did a great job of capturing that feeling, the fizzling of the dream. Can’t wait for tomorrow!

  3. Aww, Mum. My kid’s not even two and I can already feel that motherly mix of self-doubt and cynicism creeping into my thoughts sometimes. You say you don’t understand voice, but I think you understand this one perfectly. You’ve given us a lot of character without ever stepping outside the woman to show it.

  4. Oh, so jaded. You’ve nicely presented this mother in so few words. She seems to me to be struggling between the roles of a supportive dreamer and a realist. A really nicely written voice. 🙂 Looking forward to more!

      1. Oh, by the way, I was rereading this and thought I should mention: When I first read it I was confused about the POV because she’s first referred to as not “she” but “her mother.” It made it sound like this piece was from the daughter’s POV. No one else said anything about it so it could be just me, but I do believe that it’s objectively a little confusing. So, yeah, I think that should be changed.

        Other than that, it’s lovely!

Would love to hear what you have to say about this! :)

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