Crumpled paper littered the floor; she decided it was time for an intervention.
“Anita! Come to your room immediately!”
“Can it wait? I’m heading out to take some pictures. The light is just right.”
“Alright, go on. But clean up this mess in your room once you get back!”
She sighed. Was it her fault? All the books she fed her as a child, and all the “of course darling” to her “Mom, will I also write such stories?”
There was a problem with dreams; they died, leaving emptiness behind. Who knew it better than her?
……………………………………
96 words
This is my first entry for Voice Week 2014.
Voice week is a writing challenge hosted by Stephanie of Bekindrewrite to experiment with different voices.
I’m not sure if I understand voices, I will try to write five different perspectives. There will be 5 installments coming, one each day, from Sep 22nd to Sep 27th.
Austere Alacrity 
Nice! I like your writing!
check out:
tricksterchase.com
Whoa! You have some serious stuff going on there chasing tricksters! I am following you now. Thanks for the visit! 🙂
Thanks
The dream she engendered in her daughter has become all-consuming, and the only result seems to be a messy room. She is right not to be too upset, and to give her daughter some slack. Good start to the week.
Thanks Keith. Yes, don’t we all find seeds of who we are in our childhood? Thanks for the visit! 🙂
Ah, the inevitable question: can we really grow up to be whatever we want? Great start from the mom’s perspective – I look forward to reading more!
Thanks Stephanie! 🙂
NOM NOM NOM HYPOCRISY
That aside, very nice. You did a great job of capturing that feeling, the fizzling of the dream. Can’t wait for tomorrow!
Thanks Evan! 🙂
You can definitely hear the resignation, the sense of failure in the mother’s voice.
Thanks Carrie.. I think nothing weakens the spirit more than a broken dream.
Aww, Mum. My kid’s not even two and I can already feel that motherly mix of self-doubt and cynicism creeping into my thoughts sometimes. You say you don’t understand voice, but I think you understand this one perfectly. You’ve given us a lot of character without ever stepping outside the woman to show it.
Thanks! 🙂
Very encouraging, and good to have you back!
I always say this but mother is equal to guilt and regret. I feel for the mother. This was a great voice to dive off with.
Thanks very much!
Oh, so jaded. You’ve nicely presented this mother in so few words. She seems to me to be struggling between the roles of a supportive dreamer and a realist. A really nicely written voice. 🙂 Looking forward to more!
Thanks a lot. You captured the gist of it all so well!
A very real struggle that I think not many write about (or I haven’t read too much of it, anyway). Lovely work.
Thank you 🙂
Oh, by the way, I was rereading this and thought I should mention: When I first read it I was confused about the POV because she’s first referred to as not “she” but “her mother.” It made it sound like this piece was from the daughter’s POV. No one else said anything about it so it could be just me, but I do believe that it’s objectively a little confusing. So, yeah, I think that should be changed.
Other than that, it’s lovely!
Thanks for rereading, you are right! I will change it right away.
Thanks for giving it your time! 🙂
You’re welcome! I’m glad to be of help. Thank you for accepting the small critique with grace. 😀
This is dark, sad and jaded. I like the beauty behind it.
Thanks. This is my most favorite voice of all the four so far.
Nice! I like her hesitant personality. I’m curious about her. 🙂
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