He sat by the window, his usual spot, watching the newly blossomed azaleas in the garden, while the nurse put a napkin around his neck. The weather was changing; soon the garden would be full of flowers. Even the weeds held a wild charm, he mused.
The bland taste of porridge brought him back to the table. Shaking his head disapprovingly, he stared at the tray holding sugar. The nurse reluctantly reached for the jar.
I can bet 100$ she will make it saccharine sweet now. He closed his eyes as the nurse poured dollops of sugar in the porridge.
…………………
100 words for this week’s Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle.
This was a tough prompt, made me think hard! Good start Rochelle!
Click on the below prompt to follow the madness or better, be a part of it! 🙂
Was this written on the go? Lovely take on the solitude of people who need care.
yes, literally on the go. 🙂
NEVER upset the carer! This captures the desolation of being dependent upon somebody else, and trying to tread the fine line between what you want and what they are prepared to do for you… lovely. And thank you for your kind comments on mine, Parul. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by Sandra.
Your post is amazing as always! The pleasure was truly mine. 🙂
Hi Parul,
This reminded me of Hemingway’s A Farewell to Arms. Many levels of storytelling here, capturing in everyday descriptions. Skillful writing! Ron
Thanks Ron. That’s a lovely comment. Made me very glad! 🙂
Dear Parul,
This was a fine piece of story telling. Reminds me of my father’s last years, negotiating with crazy people or uncaring people for a bit of solace in his days. Well done.
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks Doug. Those are tough times.
I have witnessed some such incidents myself. Heart-breaking.
This story took us deep into the mind of your old man. He’s clearly mentally strong but needs care: a frustrating place for anyone and yet one many of us face. The line in italics confused me a little – I think he wants sugar but I’m guessing he’s worried she’ll take it too far? – I think maybe it’s the use of “would” instead of “will” that tripped me up.
Interesting how this prompt has taken some of us to heartbreak and others to desire.
I always mess up the tenses.
Thanks for pointing it out.
I have changed it to “will” and also brought the sentence that follows the italics in the same paragraph. Hopefully that alleviates the confusion a bit. Thanks
How awful to lose control of all the little details of your life! I feel so sorry for the poor man. You really brought the characters and situation to life here.
Thanks for stopping by. Glad you appreciated it.
Hi Parul, Being human, a ‘perfectionist’ and a ‘Foodie’ this struck a few cords with me. The loudest strum I heard came from the time of year we’re at right now. This time of year my heart reaches out to so many Veterans that people have ‘put away’. I’ve found that not enough people take time to listen to the Aged assuming, instead, that they’re feeble, useless, ‘gone’. Remember to reach out to these special people on Nov 11 and throughout year.
Bless the older generation for we’re where we are because of them.
Ed
Ed!! 🙂
So nice to see you here!
And I could not agree more. Such are the times.
I shudder sometimes when I think of myself being in a state where I have to depend on others for things as basic as existence.
Anyway, all said an done, I am so happy to see you here 🙂
Btw, if you don’t mind my asking, what’s on Nov 11th?
Veteran’s Day in the U.S.
ahh ok, thanks
I spent over 30 years working, caring for just those such as you describe.
Did a day go by that each one in my care was greeted, thast time wastaken to see to their needs, that questions were not asked and efforts made to see that at least for the time I was there the day was made brighter? It did not!
Too many of our elderly and infirm are shunted off by families, many of whom could with a little effort provide care at home or at least visit. The staff often is the only other person these folks see and are able to interact with and a nurse who has the needs of 20 or so to take care of is doing their best. It’s hard work!
I too fear that with all the cost cutting in health care, I will be shoved into a corner one day and hope that the ones who are in charge of the ‘quality of life’ at that point were trained to care.
You reap what you sow. And on that account, you deserve and would definitely get a good care if and when you need it. Though I hope you live a healthy self sustained life and it never ever comes to that.
that was well written, but it terrifies me to my core. Man! I hope I never go there. Well done.
yeah me neither! Thanks
this brought back memories of my mother and the last year of her life in a nursing home. The food was often bland, but her care givers went above and beyond and showed loving hearts. She was fortunate, many don’t receive proper care. This was beautiful written, capturing the thoughts and emotions of one dependant upon others for simple, daily needs.
Thanks Russell. 🙂
Kept my attention. I felt sorry for the guy.
Scott
Thanks.
It made me sad, when fearing the only enjoyment is the sugar on the watery porridge. I have to make sure to hide some bottles of whiskey if I ever reach that stage (also in accordance with “farewell to arms” reference). Well written
Hey Brudberg ~ I don’t drink but I hope you save some of that whiskey for me should I ever reach that horrible stage. Lora
I’d like some whiskey to go too. Thanks 😉
How frustrating to have a mind that’s sharp and working, yet not be able to do things for oneself!! Better than having the mind go as well, but with the mind still working, he’s aware of the other things that are frustrating. Wonderful piece.
You pictured it perfectly!
Thanks! 🙂
Nice capturing here of having to depend on someone else for even the smallest , needs. Well done!
Yes, it’s not a good place to be in. Thanks
That intro was great – something about his reflection on the changing of the weather seemed right on, underscoring the sense that all he really does is sit and watch (since he needs the nurse to care for him). His resentment fit really well into that idea, too. This was excellent!
Thanks Brian. “Excellent” is what I always aspire for. You made me very happy! 🙂
Reminded me of my father, with his thoughts. Hoping I avoid that fate. Nice, P.
Here’s mine… http://tedstrutz.com/2012/10/25/displaced/
Thanks Ted. I hope the same.
Parul,
To me this is more chilling than any vampire or zombie story. Too much truth to keep a distance. A disaster or age can render any of us into the old man’s position. Well written…nice job.
Interesting you point that out Rochelle.
To let you in on a secret, I had not thought of this guy as an old man, but a paralyzed middle-aged man, rich enough to afford personal care and a big house with that kind of a garden. But perhaps 100 words are too less to write all that.
thanks
A reality we all eventually face. I’ve been through this with mom in a nursing home. The soup they served ev. dinner was thick, muddy, gray, mystery mush. Even the nurses had no idea what it was. I made sure mom didn’t eat it bec. I brought in nutritious homemade soup every time I visited.
I agree with all of the above comments. I don’t drink but I hope Brudberg saves some of that whiskey for me should I ever get in that horrible situation.
Yeah whiskey is a good idea.
Very clever. I care for my paraplegic, diabetic, stroked, whatever husband, and he doesn’t always know what’s best for him.
Thanks for stopping by Shirley.
Your husband is lucky to have you.
This reminded me of my father in the nursing home before he died, although the carers there were kind and loving, they never had the time to just sit and be and my mother and I would often find him alone. The food was always questionable, but they had to cater for health and a multitude of people. Well written and thoughtfully observed. 🙂
Thanks Linda.