We don’t speak a lot. I hardly every visit you or think of you or do any symbolic prayers/deeds like true believers. Honestly, I don’t even know what I believe. Despite my casual linkages with you, you have been very kind to me.
Thank you for the wonderful year. Like a fool that I am, I made mistakes, but it could have been worse had you not been there. Like a bigger fool that I proved to be, I repeated some mistakes, but it could have been even worse had you not been there.
Basically, I left no stone unturned in bringing distress and sorrow in my little, naïve world, but you always showed up at the right time before any permanent, irreparable damage could be done. There were times when I over-spoke and times when I didn’t say enough. There were times when I overanalyzed, and times when I didn’t think twice before jumping where it was bound to hurt the most. There were times when I overdid things and times when I didn’t do enough.
It’s been a year of big bloopers, big disappointments, and big misunderstandings. You were always there giving me hope, caressing my wounds, building my strength, showing me the light when everything else around was crumbling down.
You also brought some of the best gifts I’ve ever had wrapped in the finest of packages when I least expected them. You gave me a lot more than I deserved, or ever hoped for.
My life is a life of unspoken miracles if I look at it. You have been kind, you have shown your light even when I haven’t deserved it.
There are challenges; there are things that need your attention that I have been attending to in vain. I know it’s not going to be an easy road ahead. I hope to have you by my side, just like you have always been. I know I do a lousy job at acknowledging your presence, I hardly pray, my meditation routine has been erratic, almost non-existent. I regret not meditating the most. It’s just that it’s freezing! And it’s only getting colder. But I will get back to it, as soon as I can.
Thanks for the spectacular and exasperating 2012. See you around next year.